im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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