just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
