Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize