Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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