you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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