Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize