they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize