The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Someone came in the potted fern
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
