It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
