He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
