For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
