Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
