North Korea, Best Korea!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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