thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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