you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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