I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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