Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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