No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Shitshow foam night was such a success
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize