In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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