Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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