i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Man, jail baloney is awful.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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