Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
