Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
did i just pee glitter
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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