he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
