You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
