It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
