I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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