There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
your like the ambassador to my penis.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
