I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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