I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
