ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
