so explain again why im purple
no
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
