she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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