dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I need water and some morals
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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