True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think people are normalizing furries
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize