dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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