just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
