I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
