1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
