so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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