Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
