Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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