Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
