I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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