i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Come on in and take your pants off
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