It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize