I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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