Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
