she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
