It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is it penis luge time yet?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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