hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i now understand why vodka
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
