New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
