he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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