it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize