My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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