my vag is so smooth its legendary
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
