in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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