Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
