The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
