That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize