wrigley field is MILF paradise
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
