I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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