high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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