I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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