So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
