worst night to have a conscience
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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